Now

Your broken English quotes!!

Chepman says:
Were you not know the ticketing of beer is the finishment of moralization?

<i>One kenyan local chief to a club owner!!</i>
60 months ago
Replies:
Now
Zabde-Ezra  says:
"Publican, publican, number 28, I went for a walk and now I step underbreak. Zero point seven is around...around all time. This is a factory I must to do. Salute for the King. Shut your eyes and count 16.." Anyone out there who attended Kenya's primary school system between 1968 until 1976?
Remember this song that went with rope skipping?-Zab.
21 months ago
Now
Patrick  says:
Chep, you went where?.
21 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
I bet she will be so at Home :)

Thanks for the Welcome LJ.
21 months ago
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Zorban  says:
Welcome back TeacherCHEP! Hope Huynh doesn't click on the Link, because then she'll be as confused as ever: http://www.facebook.com/NewsInFunnyBrokenEnglish :~)
21 months ago
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Chepman  says:
Yeah niggas! Just me by myself hangin on da blocks, holdin it down. Cocktailing in ma waist. Straight face all day. No jail, just me, ma chair, ma pillow. Dont nobody wake me up, coz I wanna sleep till the f**kin night go, hahaha right on ma face!!!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/NewsInFunnyBrokenEnglish?ref=hl
21 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
If the messager is a plane am sure they are, otherwise i would use to gun him down. That is more polite.
25 months ago
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Chepman  says:
We, As Student don't know the diversity of India..we don't care about future and don't think about the past...we have just few more months to finish...so sad..we don't know how the hell world will treat us..but we need to face suffer in the world out of my campus...
25 months ago
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Chepman  says:
Dear Friend,



...
Since then I have made several enquirers to here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved

unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts to locate his real relatives,I decided to contact you since you have

...

I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 1years now, I seek the consent to

present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can

be paid to you.

Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have

...

Please reply with your information if you are really interested and ready to work long with me in this transaction.

...
26 months ago
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Eva Martha  says:
dont worry ppl, elaka olya teywa okuza nale..........heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeya.......lekwa............sweet laughter.
27 months ago
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Eva Martha  says:
some one at secondary school once said to his friend: lets beat the language, its nt our mother tougue.
27 months ago
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Chepman  says:
hello

anita***** @yahoo.co m

My name is miss Anita,i am
single and 5.5ft.How are you,
i hope your are fine and in south health.I went through your profile today and
i took interest on it.I am interested in your profile,Kindly contact me.
anita*****ATyah oo.com
I will tell you more about myself and picture.
Awaits your reply soonest.
28 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Well I see you are looking fornicating only. I am looking for long term, hopefully permanent...
28 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:

Schmidt says:

Kayla are lady K for the uptime girls of Kampala Whats the going rate or bored housewives are many
28 months ago
Now
Arthur  says:
A whole Grammar Teacher: Come here Both the three of you!!
30 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
@deKAY: Get lost!
31 months ago
deKay  says:
HELLO

I?m currently conducting some research for my undergraduate dissertation concerning Kenya?s upcoming Presidential Elections. Attached is a link to my online survey which should only take only a few minutes to complete. I appreciate the opportunity to seek your views on issues relating to the 2012/13 elections and I assure you all responses are anonymous.

I need as many results as possible, so if you could forward this survey link to any relevant people or groups, I would be extremely grateful. Your Participation is a valued component of my research

Thanks!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/W7JZKXH
31 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
They beaten the thief until the water from his bladders ran freely from the secret organs.
31 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
I believe all bodies are arrived, thank you all for being the punctuality. The meeting is of the discussing of the last time agenda. May I be calling the Secretary to narrate the minutes of the old meeting.
32 months ago
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Zabde-Ezra  says:
"People just do things anyhow-ly!" and "My nameS ARE Zabde-Ezra Ayienga"!
33 months ago
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maclean  says:
Ladies and gentlemen interplater 'Dresses and jackets'
33 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Hi,
I found your email address on the some dating website.
Your photography attracted my attention, and your personals description awakened my interest. :)
You make impression of a very kind person. I would love getting to know u better.

In my next message I will send into you my photos.

If you're interested, I hope to be heard from you soon.
Have a nice day!
34 months ago
Now
Nicholas  says:
A lady approached her boyfriend to discuss the next course of action ones she realized she is is pregnant of him and can not continue with her primary schooling.
Odhis the stomach you gave me has substracted me from school now cut me cleverness. Am afraid this stomach is taking mebadly on fenced spear
36 months ago
Now
Peter  says:
Teacher, "Kamau are you with us?"
Student, " Yes am with us"
36 months ago
Now
Peter  says:
"Kweri, to go is to see" ~ Nameless dude from the slopes.
36 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
We found these two men falling trees without permit paper.
37 months ago
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samit  says:
Oh I've never come across that so my adive above be useless lol!
37 months ago
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samit  says:
@ ive how comes you posted that under this post ?
but anyway:
life is too short. I'd speak to her, and tell her how you feel. If you think she misses you, and cares, there's no harm. Don't leave it too late as she's with another dude. Go for a coffee and speak! hope that helps
37 months ago
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@space octopus, twake it easy pal.
37 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
can one change partners without attached
37 months ago
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Chepman  says:
do you think goalkeeper is the 1 of the player.?if yes ,why sometimes the colour of his top is different to others ?
37 months ago
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gitahi  says:
aka
37 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
38 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
A man happiest moment is also his weakest point,as a man you should take no pressure from a prostitude because they are also reffered to as nicked weapon sometime dangerous to human life.All men have to be wise and couregeous,this is because the journey to man hood is not an easy task.Some men think that ecomium and all other kinds of negative praises from women are the only power to individual recognition and self popularity. No! be whom you are is the only way,never waste your time in searching for a for a prostitude that has no impact to your life. If really you believe in this human ideogical thought,i want Somebody to analyse the charateristic of a prostitude for me aswell.The reason behind it,is that i'm a human activist trying to changing some individuals from this catastrophy.
38 months ago
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Chepman  says:

All am looking for,is a woman whom will show me her true love inreprestive of who she is.I need a woman that we will stay beside each and share some common feeling that will enbode our both physical and naural character.
38 months ago
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Chepman  says:
life is a chance,try it best at your own time rejoice the fruits later.
40 months ago
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Chepman  says:
I need you assistance for transferring 22.5 million
abandon in my bank were i work Hang Seng Bank,
if interested send name, address, phone number,
i will give you more details and we share ratio of
60% 40% after we have sucessfully transfer.
40 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
dean of ambassador college
22 lees street- curepipe- mauritius
dear sir
I do say great thank for your warm reply and deep appreciation to give great chance to increase qualified knowledge and the horizon of my point of view in searching the deepest of god word and his commandment to find the truth in the way of life ,both in the world and in the life after death.
more over , It has close link with the university I have ever studied[ dr soetomo university] who opens the opportunity to dig the knowlege of finding the truth by keeping God commandment and rejecting evil.[ PMKRI and UKKI campus activities]
thank You very much to put mine into great consideration to acceot my wish to go on my study
in world class university between unitomo and ambassador college in hebrew faculty by having school arship program.
looking forward for an early reply.
Gatot malaisianto
c/o saefudin .k[medical schoolar unair]
jl.kedung tarukan wetan no:1 surabaya
east java indonesia.
40 months ago
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Chepman  says:
i knew he was a mentally sick psycho. LoL iondo SOB and is math with soon hit the dead end, that guy should be held responsible, he defy the work of scientifically processes and whole science field whit his one hit concoction, whataa a deaucebag!!!!
he didnt know medic come from research not through his SDA's doctrines!!!!
Tz need a real Gods interventions,
40 months ago
Now
maclean  says:
Remember me with $10, i will come and recognize it when i discover my salary
40 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Dear All,
I come here some years back, God sent me to Bless your Lives with Abundance. I have all the secrets of success with me if you are willing to make it big
in your lives,that was my intention that u move out of the poverty life that has been my torment. I Choose to be an Imperfect man and kindly deliver your tithes to the Church God's blessings unto your lives.
40 months ago
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Chepman  says:
kill by the sword and you will be die by the sword.
40 months ago
Now
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
40 months ago
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Chepman  says:
I have not telled you about how I meet him. He was being waiting for his friend in the tea place and he just see my eye and refused it there. They pored him tea in the cup but he was careless about it, only needing us to see each others eyes alot.
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
I was just quoting some broken English from somewhere else @Ive. Its got nothing to do with the first line.
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
LOl Ive.

You have been mouthing for an hour, how is the lollipop not finishing?
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
so where on hell did one gets the idea of going to a foreign country and make them slaves, take their land and kill some of them?? I know someone will arg thats it was his Dad or his great-grand dad etc, then why he didnt ran away from home??Its a double standard, he should clean up his ways be4 he open up his filthy mouth
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
reuben its jamor how are u? we as member of the club we are intendig to care on with club with new constitution .amin, hummphre ,jamor cedrix. so we will talk today and we send what we have talk about so that u can add ,if still want be apart of clubing
41 months ago
Now
Its like you have got a gun, that?s the RSS, and then you have a load of schemes, they are the bullets?the problem is that we don?t have a trigger, that?s the point when the schemes are needed so without the trigger we cant fire the gun
41 months ago
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Not all the ducks are in their element
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
<b> In a post somewhere in grads.com:</b>

hai friend, i am AW from Liberia. I will be graduating from the Levi.H.Martin Baptist high school this year[2011]. I will be entering the university after my graduation. I want to get in touch with good loving people who love educations. we can be friends and talk anout life, and educational matters ok. i wantt to know you, and get to know your country through you.
41 months ago
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Chepman  says:
LOL Ive: Funny link ... the Chinese are the experts when it comes to breaking English...lol
41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
1) <b>In a Zurich hotel:</b> " Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."



2)<b> In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:</b> "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."



3)<b> In a Rome laundry:</b> "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."



4)<b> In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:</b> "Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages."



5)<b> Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:</b> "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"



6) <b>In a Swiss mountain inn: </b>"Special today-no ice cream."



7)<b> In a Bangkok temple: </b>"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."



8)<b> In a Tokyo bar: </b>"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."



9) <b>In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:</b> "We take your bags and send them in all directions."



10)<b> On the door of a Moscow hotel room:</b> "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."



11)<b> In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:</b> "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."



12) <b>In a Budapest zoo:</b> "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."



13)<b> In the office of a Roman doctor: </b>"Specialist in women and other diseases."



14) <b>In an Acapulco hotel:</b> "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."



15)<b> In a Tokyo shop:</b> "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."

41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?
41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
1) From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."



2) On the menu of a Polish hotel: "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."



3) In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."



4) In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
1) In a Yugoslavian hotel: "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."



2) In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."



3) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."



4) In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."


5) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."



6) Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
1) In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis."



2) In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."


3) In a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."



4) In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."



5) From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
41 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
I'm so glad,i just browsing right now in the Internet and found your profile dating site, I was much feelings over it, my name is Miss,hadiza, please i will like us to hold a good
41 months ago
Now
Richie  says:
In my high school days.....Mudrik is found sleeping in class. Geography teacher says..."Let the sleeping dogs lie".

Mudrik...wakes up en its like...Haki yanani mwalimu waniita mbwa! The teacher says, Geography is not taught in swahili.....Mudrik responds....

I don't care what you say, I don't care what you think "Kizungu kililetwa na meli".
42 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
hello, I'm glad to hear from you reply to my letter.
In this world, was a man who wants to meet me.
I'm sorry if my letter will be a little disconnected.
I have no experience to start dating. Since I started, I'll write this letter a little about yourself.
I was born on February 22, 1982. I am 29 years old. It is not enough))) I'm thinking about a future life, and I want to have a family. I want to have children of their own.
42 months ago
Now
Winnie  says:
everything is crazy funny here! i heard this from someone who had just come from shags;

No 1 ; y dint you come to school

No.2; My tomato was die (his grandma had passed on)
42 months ago
WAMAGATA  says:
braverly and scratching of the mud
42 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
You have laughed me a lot with your words flowing out of the mouth.
42 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Lol @IF.

I run 26, then I drink, I run another 26 then I drink. Like this I beaten the body to shape.
42 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
I miss you my to darling. Is have been up and down the mountaiuns of the Himalayas looking for the best to the love vibes I do give you my baby the GAL.
44 months ago
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Chepman  says:
Hello Mr bricks. I am too much thanking you this now for the bringing of yourself within the time. I am come from the main office being sended by the Chairman to come and collect you and your luggages which are looking matured and heavy by their sight hahaha, just joking me on you, never put me in your head. Quickly quickly, let us run over ourselves to the venue before the patience overtakes us hostages.
44 months ago
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Chepman  says:

Ivy says:

... He should know yellow rain kill flower. Haa how do you like ma broken english.lol
44 months ago
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Olemusa  says:
do you love me, love you?
44 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
The New Year will ushered in new promises, hopes, and challenges. Look me back I would says that 2010 has been a greater year. It behaved a year full of ups and downs. Though having hits and misses in every sphere, overall, it was been a good year.
44 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Why people live honest and corrupt lives but still either is of them is poor is or rich.
46 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Hello dear
I am to be very happy to entering the good relationship with you my friend,please let her write to me directly at (*****@yahoo.com) so that i am tell you more about my naked truths and send the picture. remember that distance and colour is not the thing but love is careless.
Yours trufosa.
46 months ago
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Olemusa  says:
locking the school infront of time
46 months ago
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Chamwingi  says:
Your eyes are looking me until I get shame.....will you please turn your head back so that I will not get afread.
46 months ago
Now
KAYLA  says:
"its not me who done it...."

"yes its not you who done it"
46 months ago
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Chamwingi  says:
Please remove tha hand in my shingos because the blood is not going to the head bro.....me beg you !
46 months ago
Now
KAYLA  says:
a school matron was trying to seek for empathy from her collegue;
"<b>MADAM IF YOU WERE IN MY LEGS,WHAT WOULD YOU DO?"
46 months ago
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birhan  says:
we the peopels of kenya, birhan gebru, herby i proclaim is.
46 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Lol...I am cracking here.
46 months ago
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KAYLA  says:
recently our mayor left his political party "DP" to join "movement" led by the president and this is what our mayor told H.E;

"<b>Mr.president,i and my party have leaved opposition to joined you.i assure you,you have my behind because am like a giraffe with tall vision into the future....you see thats how i started my restuarant which is a take away...."
46 months ago
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Chepman  says:
Oh My! IF? Now the English language is officially massacred!!
46 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Hello !!
I Hope you are in good health?
Dear,i wish we could be friendly
in good lovely relationship ,
if you could be sincere and lovely,
well i do cherish your profile,
age and distance no problem,
privately send me a
reply to my email address
( ****@yahoo.com)
while i get back at you including
my picture. I shall hopefully
wait for your reply.
Yours,
****.
( ****@yahoo.com)
46 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
RAS:
does Deuceland belongs to you? here you go again on a new dimentions, do i have stated somewhere that am in this and that place like you do? bi***, you are confused
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Hi, the name is lisketer. Every day I am hang up in the join under the big tree leening on the hill in my front, see? the one beyond the eyes of yours?
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
which is it of you that entered his eyes into girlfriend window?
47 months ago
Now
Jibreel Gabriel  says:
Let's went to the dark and dance!

One local girl to one Australian!
47 months ago
Now
Zorban  says:
ROBERT/LL ROBBY: Thank you! <i>Chuck the animosity & sarcasm out of the window!</i> Let's NOT make a&&e& of ourselves! Any character or punctuation mark, can be used to bring a post to the top of the page; to make the post CURRENT. This is a common practice at Grads, and it's been so for several years now. <i><b>Btw, most of your comments/sentences are very much at home on this post!</i></b>
47 months ago
Now
L.L.Robby  says:
@ok..cul see me in ya place soon..!
47 months ago
Now
L.L.Robby  says:
@Lj..dont give us ya stars thing..understand dat...if u dont have any comment then quit.
thanks,
47 months ago
Now
Zorban  says:
***
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
hello friends....

please help me out on this.........i write ma hole question with explaination . .... . . please tell me the solution . . . .thank u/......
47 months ago
Now
Banana  says:
EBB says..

"i know that long gal with a tall voice?"
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Hi baby the GAL? how plow you darling?
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
Geeks I've to serious problematic condition that i couldn't find to remedy for- looked to wherever i could expect here, see if you dog help.My illness is such that; i couldn't sleep without closing my eyes and i dog only bath naked.
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:
This is the sign your twisted neck needed for my excuses to clock 70 miles in quickies.
47 months ago
Now
DICKSON  says:
Chepman says:

Just go F**ck you woman and make her pregnant dude.
47 months ago
Now
Chepman  says:

Ebb says:

too many men have make up tis day hopin' to be suer stars. guys have fell off the game
47 months ago
Now
Jibreel Gabriel  says:
Who is your name?
47 months ago
Now
Jibreel Gabriel  says:
Look, the teacher is biting the bell (beating the bell).
47 months ago
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Chepman  says:
I kept looking for you next week and didn't see any change.
47 months ago
Now
Jibreel Gabriel  says:
@Chepman: Hahaha!! Yeah, very true. Couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it!
47 months ago
Now
Zorban  says:
CHEP: hahaha! Lots of new material lately :)
47 months ago
(345 comments on this topic)
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